Pre-Wedding
Chuni – The groom’s family, usually an aunt or his sisters, arrive at the bride’s house or a venue of choice to present the bride with a chuni - a traditional head covering worn by Indian women. An important part of a Sikh wedding, the chuni symbolizes the groom’s family’s acceptance of the bride into their family. Receiving the chuni can also be considered the official engagement, sometimes done a few months before the wedding.
Maiyaan – The fun, colourful day starting with a folk art pattern ‘rangoli’ being applied on the ground just outside the house. All the action will happen here – the yellow paste ‘pithi’ made of turmeric powder, mustard oil and flour is applied onto the bride and groom, basically wherever their family can manage to make it stick! The couple sit on a stool by the rangoli with a tray that has a red thread that the bride will wear on her wrist afterwards and a scarf that is held above the couple’s heads.
Once the bride and groom are covered in yellow paste one of the mothers jumps over the ‘rangoli’ pattern seven times then adds water to the pattern, this paste is then smeared on the walls to signify this will be the wedding house.
Choora – Sikh brides wear a set of 21 red and white bangles on their wedding day, which they leave on for a whole year indicating that she is a newlywed woman. These bangles are given to her by a maternal uncle at her home; before she puts them on they are dipped in milk and rosewater.
Mehendi – A day or two before the wedding day both bride and groom have their hands and feet painted with henna ‘mehendi’. The darker the colour the stronger the love.
NanKi Shak – On this day, the bride receives gifts and usually her bridal outfit and jewelry from her mother’s family. The day can also be combined with a fun filled evening called Jaago – this is when the dancing starts; the day before the wedding both the bride and groom’s families will walk around with decorated pots lit up with candles or lights. They dance around and pass the pots from person to person. ‘Jaago’ literally means ‘wake up’ and is a fantastic excuse for a party - and it’s not even the wedding day yet!
Wedding Day
Most of the rituals prior to the actual marriage ceremony focus on the groom’s preparation before meeting his bride at the temple ‘Gurdwara’. The groom’s father ties a turban for him and his sister will place a heavily embroidered or beaded veil ’sehra’ which is attached to his turban.
She then adds a brooch ‘kalgi’ and will also drape a scarf ‘palla’ on his shoulders. Sweets and money are given to him. He carries a sword ‘kirpan’ to symbolise his ability to protect his wife.
His sister- in- law adds kohl to line his eyes to keep away the evil eye. Before the groom departs for the Gurdwara, he is accompanied by his best man – both will wear a flower garland ‘haar’. Before entering the Gurdwara both men and women will need to cover their heads and remove their shoes.
Milni
After arrival of the groom and his family to the Gurdwara, the bride’s parents welcome them in a traditional manner with songs and hymns. Family members are greeted with garlands and the men will have fun lifting each other up. The Milni is performed by the priest and afterwards tea and snacks are served to the guests before the ceremony begins.
Anandkaraj
Also known as “ceremony of bliss,” which starts with ‘kirtan’- traditional singing of hymns. The groom will offer a piece of embroidered fabric to the holy book called ‘Guru Granth Sahib’ and then sits down in front of it. His sister will remove the ‘kalgi’ and the ‘sehra’. The bride is brought to the groom, usually by her brothers and she too offers a beautiful piece of fabric and sits in front of the holy book next to him. An indication of the bride’s father giving her away is when he offers the groom’s ‘palla’ to his daughter or it is tied to her wrist.
The Laavan
The Laavan ritual consists of the four prayers, which seal their blissful union and is conducted by a priest. At each prayer, the couple bow and pay respects to the holy book. The bride and groom move clockwise around ‘Guru Granth Sahib.’ During this ceremony the groom is given one end of the palla on his shoulder while his bride holds the other end. After prayers and a speech by the priest on marriage and its significance, the couple are officially declared husband and wife and bound in blissful union. After the last hymn the guests come forward and give their blessings and gifts ‘shaggan’.
Now let the party begin with non-stop dancing!
There are hundreds of guests, masses of food and drinks and loud music. When it is time for the couple to depart, the bride will change into clothes presented to her by the groom’s family ‘doli’. A very emotional time, as Indian girls usually live with their parents until they marry. She now leaves her family home and starts a new life with her husband. Lots of tears! The bride’s mother will hold the bride’s scarf and the bride will shower rice all over the room.
CREDITS
Article written by Helen Schrader
Helen Schrader is an Australian registered Civil Marriage Celebrant residing in the United Arab Emirates. Ms Schrader assists couples of various cultural backgrounds wishing to celebrate their marriages in the UAE and beyond by conducting their ceremonies, guiding them through the marriage process and honouring their individual wedding day visions and traditions.
A note from the author: Thank you to Bhavna Barratt not only for her vivid images, but also for sharing vital information about Sikh wedding traditions.