These are the words spoken by the groom to his bride in their Persian wedding ceremony called the aghd (the knot). The symbolic traditions of a Persian wedding ceremony stem from ancient Zoroastrian times and are still embraced today by Iranians in their own country and around the world. While it contains elements common to all weddings such as a blessing, symbols of prosperity, health and happiness for the bride and groom, it is above all a cultural event. Elements of these joyous ceremonies are beautifully adaptable to contemporary celebrations.
The aghd (marriage ceremony) takes place outside or in a specially decorated room with a beautiful and elaborately decorated low table called Sofreh-ye Aghd. Traditionally Sofreh-ye Aghd is set facing east, the direction of sunrise. Consequently when the bride and groom are seated at the head of the Sofreh-ye Aghd they will be facing "The Light".
Usually ceremony guests consist of only family and close friends who act as witnesses to the aghd. Often today, couples opt to include all guests at both their ceremony and their reception (aroosi), usually held on the same day. The actual marriage or aghd is typically conducted by either a religious official or a respected friend or family member.
The bride is asked three times if she will accept the groom – the third time she will respond with a ‘yes’. She does not want to seem too eager and the groom needs to know he is the one doing the asking!
The Sofreh-ye-Aghd has all or some of the following elements but always the mirror and the two candelabras, these are often then used in their own home.
At the conclusion of the ceremony chosen female friends will hold a cloth or shawl over the couple’s heads while two more will rub two sugar cones (Khalleh Ghand) together to shower the couple with sweetness.
The couple will seal their marriage by feeding each other with the traditional finger dipped in honey, a gesture meant to encourage a sweet life.
Elements of the Sofreh-ye aghd
Luxurious Fabric (“Termeh”)
The spread that is used for Sofreh-ye Aghd was traditionally passed from mother to daughter (or occasionally son). It is made of a luxurious fabric such as "Termeh" (A rich gold embroidered fabric originally made in Cashmere).
Mirror of Fate ("Aayeneh-ye Bakht") and two Candelabras
The candelabras represent the bride and groom and brightness in their future, one on either side of the mirror. The mirror and two candelabras together are symbols of light and fire, two very important elements in the Zoroastrian culture. When the bride sits beside the groom, the first thing that the groom sees in the mirror should be the reflection of his wife-to-be.
A tray of seven multi-coloured herbs and spices ("Sini-ye Aatel-O-Baatel")
These guard the couple and their lives together against the evil eye and drive away evil spirits. The tray consists of seven elements in seven colors:
- Poppy Seeds"Khash-Khaash" (to break spells and witchcraft)
- Wild Rice"Berenj"
- Angelica"SabziKhoshk"
- Salt"Namak" (to blind the evil eye)
- Nigella Seeds"Raziyaneh"
- Black Tea"Chaay"
- Frankincense"Kondor" (to burn the evil spirits)
A specially baked and decorated flatbread ("Noon-e Sangak")
This has the blessing "Mobaarak-Baad" written in calligraphy on it. The writing is usually with either saffron, cinnamon, Nigella seeds, or glitters. This symbolises prosperity for the feasts and for the couple's life thereafter.
A basket of decorated eggs and a basket of decorated almonds, walnuts and hazelnuts painted in gold
To symbolize fertility.
A basket of pomegranates and/or apples for a joyous future
Pomegranates are considered heavenly fruits and apples symbolise the divine creation of mankind.
A cup of rose water extracted from special Persian roses ("Gol-e Mohammadi")
To perfume the air.
A bowl made out of crystallised sugar ("Kaas-e Nabaat/Shaakh-e Nabaat")
To sweeten life for the newly-weds.
A brazier "Manghal" holding burning coals sprinkled with wild rue ("Espand")
Wild rue is used in many Zoroastrian ceremonies, rituals and purification rites. It is believed to keep the evil eye away and bring on plenty of health.
A bowl of gold coins
Represent wealth and prosperity.
A scarf or shawl made out of silk or any other fine fabric
To be held over the bride and groom's head throughout the ceremony by various happily married female relatives (mostly bride's close friends and family members and sometimes pre-selected by the bride).
Two sugar cones ("KallehGhand")
These are made out of hardened sugar to be used during the ceremony. The sugar cones are grinded together above the bride and groom's head (over the scarf held above their heads) throughout the ceremony to shower them in sugar (symbolising sweetness and happiness).
A cup of honey
To sweeten life, immediately after the couple is married they each should dip one pinky finger in the cup of honey and feed it to the other one. After this the kiss!
A copy of the couple's Hafez or Holy book
This is a collection of poetry of love and happiness or religious book.
An assortment of sweets and pastries
To be shared with the guests after the ceremony for the couple to share sweet life ahead with all of their loved ones. Immediately after the ceremony the guests come forward to congratulate the couple and wish them mobarak. Gifts are given usually jewellery, gold and money. Afterwards the couple and their guests will proceed to the reception (mehmoonee) to celebrate with an abundance of traditional food, music and dancing with their guests.
Some words on marriage by the Persian poet Rumi
May these vows and this marriage be blessed.
May it be sweet milk, this marriage, like wine and halvah.
May this marriage offer fruit and shade, like the date palm.
May this marriage be full of laughter,
your every day a day in paradise.
May this marriage be a sign of compassion,
a seal of happiness here and hereafter.
May this marriage have a fair face and a good name,
an omen as welcome as the moon in a clear blue sky.
I am out of words to describe how spirit mingles in this marriage.
CREDITS:
Article written by Helen Schrader
Helen Schrader is an Australian registered Civil Marriage Celebrant residing in the United Arab Emirates. Ms. Schrader assists couples of various cultural backgrounds wishing to celebrate their marriages in the UAE and beyond by conducting their ceremonies, guiding them through the marriage process and honoring their individual wedding day visions and traditions.