In this vibrant, chaotic and populous South Asian country there are a multitude of wedding traditions and rituals. These customs are reflected by region, religion, culture and community. Let us explore just a few.
Kashmiri Muslim Wedding
The people of Kashmir describe their beautiful land as ‘Paradise on Earth’ and indeed as the plane flies over the snow capped Himalayas, one is inclined to agree. In the capital Srinagar, visitors will find shikaras gliding over lotus covered lakes, aging houseboats, floating flower and vegetable markets; traditional handicrafts and friendly people.
Usually families decide who will be their son or daughter’s marriage partner however, nowadays, young couples do meet and make a love match though their families still must approve it. Once the couple’s families have come to an agreement an engagement is announced. The groom’s family often gives jewelry to the bride and sometimes rings and flowers are exchanged as well. The groom’s parents traditionally buy the bridal trousseau for the Kashmiri bride, complete with clothes and jewellery to be worn on the wedding day.
The commencement of the wedding celebrations will be the henna or ‘mehendi’ sent to the bride’s home from the groom’s family. The girls apply mehendi on the bride's hands and feet. She then puts on all her bridal jewelry and vividly coloured and sequined sari or lehenga.
The nikah or marriage contract may have been completed earlier or at the time just before the main wedding day and the bride’s ‘mehr’ or dowry is decided upon.
On the main wedding day the groom is taken to the bride’s house in a procession called the ‘baraat’ he is wearing a ‘sherwani kurta’ with ‘churidar pyjama’ topped off with a special turban.
Traditionally, the bride will wear a heavily decorated red or bright coloured ‘lehenga’ and a dupatta over her head. The over garment is embroidered in gold and complemented with lots of gold jewelry.
The ladies in the family sing traditional wedding songs and the groom is showered with coins, sweets and almonds and he is presented with a garland.
Weddings in Kashmir are always accompanied by amazing feasts, of multiple dishes, called ‘vazvan’ food -prepared by special chefs. It will be cooked in huge cauldrons with many dishes of mutton, chicken and varieties of biryani. It is preferable that you arrive hungry and not be a vegetarian!!
The wedding celebration will be held in one or two huge tents erected near the bride’s home these will accommodate hundreds of guests, as all the community are invited. Men and women eat separately. The close relatives of the groom can enter where the bride is seated to give her gifts. Often there are special wedding performers called ‘hijra’ who dance and sing traditional songs - these men are dressed in sequined gowns.
The bride will get ready to leave with her new husband when the groom asks permission to take her to his home. The women will sing and drum and there will be tears shed as she departs for her new life. At her new home she is greeted by her mother-in-law who symbolically lifts her veil in recognition of her new status as a married woman and presents her with a piece of jewelry.
The following day the groom’s family hold a feast called the ‘walima’ day where they invite their family, friends and people from their community.
On the fourth day the bride’s family invite the groom’s family for dinner and then finally on the seventh day the groom’s family invites the bride’s family for dinner and then she is allowed to come and stay with her own family for a few days. Families and feasting – that’s what it is all about.
CREDITS
Article written by Helen Schrader
Helen Schrader is an Australian registered Civil Marriage Celebrant residing in the United Arab Emirates. Ms Schrader assists couples of various cultural backgrounds wishing to celebrate their marriages in the UAE and beyond by conducting their ceremonies, guiding them through the marriage process and honouring their individual wedding day visions and traditions.
A note from the author: Thank you to Hilal for firstly inviting me to your sisters’ wedding (it was a double wedding) and for allowing me to use the photos. It was a once in a lifetime experience.